Oprah famously said that ‘You can have it all — just not all at once.’
I have always wanted it all. I guess that I am greedy by nature. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be everything, have everything and do everything. I love the idea of being limitless. I love doing what I want, how I want, with who I want. My nickname as a child was Princess Iwanta.
I was told by so many people that I couldn’t do have and be what I wanted. To that I say bollocks. I believe that it is our right as humans to be what we want. That we owe it to the universe to live the grandest, shiniest and most stunning life that we can muster — unless you don’t want to be grand, shiny or stunning. You need to be what youwant. Not what others want. Not what your teachers and parents wanted. What you want. You need to be yourself. All of yourself. Fully you.
I have spent the past 10 years coaching women to be more of themselves – to be more interesting, more energised and more engaged in the own lives.
Now, if you are anything like me, being fully yourself is a huge job. It is a 24/7 hanging-onto-the-rail-trying-to-keep-things-vertical kind of job. My life is big. It is tiring but it is amazing. But it is exactly how I want it: fabulous and full.
Now, you may not want a huge, full life. Maybe you want to go and lie under a rock and hide. Or maybe you do not know what you want — in which case I suggest you have a really big think about it.
In the busy-ness of life we often stop thinking. We stop wondering. We stop being curious about ‘what if?’ and ‘maybe . . .’ We are so busy doing boring, everyday stuff that we have lost our ability to open our minds to huge and beautiful possibilities. ‘Can’t’ becomes our default setting. I can’t afford it. I can’t find the time. I can’t be bothered
‘What would you do if you knew you could not fail?’ is one of my favourite questions. It is a great question, because it gets rid of all the crap. It takes away the thoughts like I don’t have time, I am not good enough, it might not work, I’d probably fail, and I don’t have the talent, and it lets us imagine. Imagine a limitless world. Just for a minute!
If you were guaranteed success, what would you choose to do? There is gold in your answer. There is something there worth looking into further.
I have a deep belief that I was born to succeed. I am pretty sure it came from my father. He has spent my whole life telling me that I can achieve anything. ‘You can do anything you put your mind to’ was his mantra, and one I will be forever grateful for. It wasn’t until I reached my thirties that I realised just what a bonus it was to have been marinated in self belief from such a young age. Both my brother and I look at things and think ‘how can this work?’ rather than ‘will it work?’ It is a slightly different angle but one that makes all the difference.
As a child I remember wanting to be a florist. Mostly I remember just wanting to do everything. I would see a woman with a large family and I would think ‘I want to have lots of kids’. I would see a women wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase and I would think ‘I want to be a businesswoman’. I would watch the TV and I would think ‘I want to be on TV’. I literally wanted it all. And I have it.
I have a huge, full and fun life. And I have this life because I made it happen. I didn’t listen to the people who said I couldn’t. I just thought about how couldI do things. I believe that anything you have an urge to do, you can do. As Jesse Jackson famously said, ‘If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.’
I believe that if you have a desire to do something then somewhere inside you is the ability to make that thing happen. It may not happen instantly, it mightn’t happen tomorrow — but if you stick to it, it will bloom. The things we want to do hold clues for us. The answers are in the doing. Doing things that we want. That is what will lead you to your life’s pot of gold.
Maybe you want to be a famous singer, but you can’t sing. But the fact that you want to sing is gold. Go get some singing lessons. Join a choir. The point of the question ‘What would you do if you knew you could not fail?’ is not that you are going to be a famous singer. The point is that when you took away all the reasons why it wouldn’t work you came up with the realisation that you want to sing.
I wrote my book Juggling In High Heels to encourage women to do more – not to ditch the fun stuff when life gets hard but to do what you want. It was written for women who want to do a lot. I hope it helps them to do more. To be more. To have everything that you want. But first you just need to work out what exactly that is…..
Lisa is an Author, Speaker & Mentor who lives in New Zealand. For the past 10 years Lisa has been motivating and inspiring women, running public events and writing books. Her second book – ‘Juggling in High Heels’ was released in 2017.